Lost the childishness?

I have been hearing a lot that today's children are not children anymore, they have become advanced than adults. Is it really so? Are they really losing the childishness in themselves? What is childishness?

Childishness is a behaviour of enjoying, having innocence, getting excited, getting emotional, finding love, taking interests, being unbiased, a true and pure soul, being a center of attraction, being frightened, forgetting every rudeness out of love and full of naughtiness.

What I think is, children do not lose their childishness. They have it in them always but nowadays the youth has covered it up with a curtain of show off. This show off is of superiority. Nowadays, children have a deep tunnel dug in their mind of being superior to everyone, they try to be better in front of everyone and in that struggle they lose their innocence. They have lost patience, they cannot afford to see themselves down from others be it an adult or their age group. It is because everbody is trying to be so. They have developed a nature of competitiveness in themselves. 

Why are they doing so? Is it because adults have also become same as they are? Adults around children should act according to children to let them be so. Nowadays children are lacking motivation in their lives. They are adults who will have to encourage kids to be kids and let not grow adulthood in themselves at a very early age. Adults are well aware of the nature of a child and they should not destroy the environment of childhood of their children. Adults should keep on motivating their child for things they do correct and should show the right path for things they do wrong. We should keep them on learning the moral values of life and let them stick to be a true and pure soul instead of indulging them into chaotic situations where the adults should deal with. I'm not saying to not let children think more than their age but they should be thinking only appropriate things. This can be developed in them if adults act appropriate infront of them so that negative things do not come to their mind. They are pure and immature soul, appreciation to their right options can make them more confident. Wrong will be what they don't know, and that should be corrected only with love and understandings. 

I have 5 younger brothers, all younger to me. Aman of 15, Irfan of 15, Rehan of 13, Junaid of 12 and Ahaan of 11 months. Junaid is my cousin I'll not include him into this topic, because he is physically disabled. Instead of any movement in his body and any words in his tongue, all I can see a childish smile at his face and his beautiful eyes admiring everyone around him. I would also not include Ahaan into this because he is very young to talk about. These 3, Aman, Irfan and Rehan are not adults yet for sure but let me tell you about them. Aman has now become a boy of his own wish disrespecting everyone. I'm the eldest daughter and child as well of my house but being the eldest son he thinks himself to be the most superior one and elder than me also. He thinks that he can take his decisions himself and even about me also. Whole day he is out with his friends and whenever asked to study he answers "you need not worry about it, focus at yourself", and sometimes answers back very disrespectfully. Earlier he was not at all like this. He used to be the most respectful child among all of us and the most silent and calmest one. But, he has changed drastically. I would always blame my parents for this. Earlier my mother used to sit with him the whole day, talking with him, playing with him, teaching him and give all her attention to him. As he grew up she started leaving him and less bothering. 

She does not tell him anything about whatever he does. If I complain she replies, "he will have to suffer for whatever he will do. Whom should I tell? Everybody is of their own wish, are you correct?" So in this way, she never corrects her son but always points back to me. My father has always been out of town for his work so instead of being aware of everything he doest not reciprocate. Aman also does the same thing, there's nothing like a child in him now. He even has the guts to tell mom that he has 14 girlfriends. Can you imagine! He's just 15 year old boy and mon entertains it as well. Irfan is my cousin. He does not consider himself to be an adult or to be superior. He does not respect anyone except me, my father and my mother. He obeys us but it's the opposite with his parents and rest all the family members. He is like nobody should scold him or stop him for doing anything he wishes. If you tell him 5 he will reply 50 out of anger. He does not consider his mother to be anyone but she is very supportive to him. He is just busy with his girlfriend in his life. He remains quiet but he does a lot of things at his mind. He does not have any interaction with our family members, only his girlfriend and friends are his life. When he was younger then he was considered the most naughtiest boy of DPS. Everybody knew his name by his mischieves. Though, he was very naughty, weak in studies but the childishness and innocence reflected on his face clearly. That's even acceptable from a child but that naughtiness is also lost in him. I'll say that he has become like this because of his environment. From his childhood he used to stay with my mother only, Aman and Irfan used to be together. But as he got separated from us for 4 years, he changed. His mother does not stop him from doing anything saying, "my one son is physically disabled and now I only have Irfan, I don't want him to stop for anything, he is my only hope." Getting this opportunity Irfan has become of his own wish and cannot tolerate anyone against himself. He got influenced about girlfriends and friends from my uncle's. I have got 11 uncle's and my father is the eldest one among all the 12 brother's so it's obvious that most of them are very young. Leaving 3 uncle's after my father rest all are involved with their college friends and girlfriends. Aman and Irfan hears them always talking about their own personal affairs at home. If Aman and Irfan are told anything about these matters their answer is, "they are also doing why aren't you telling them anything?" So nobody can tell anybody for anything. Rehan, is the only boy in our house in whom we can find childishness. He is little different from all of us. He is satisfied with whatever he gets. Really very naughty, innocent, lies to save himself, fights with us, plays with me and my uncle's, a fan of Broklesner of WWE, talks very childish and laughs and speaks without understanding. But, I don't want him to change like the other 2 because of my mother's carelessness. I really feel that both Aman has become so because of her carelessness and Rehan is at the verge. She has stopped looking after him and his studies also. I make her understand to look after them and see what they are doing, teach them but it's of no use.
I'm 17, not an adult yet. I would consider myself to be somehow like Aman and a bit like Rehan. Honestly, I'm very rude to my parent's when they donot agree with me in my decisions. I know it's very wrong, but I'm patient enough to make them understand about what I think and why so but it becomes intolerable for me when they donot understand my concerns even after my brief explanations and patience. Somehow, I had started speaking very less to my every family member since a year. And, I am bothered about my brother's future but I have stopped telling about them also since a month. I have my own concerns that also I keep it with me because I have become tired of arguing with anyone. You can say that I also do not have any sign of childishness. I agree with it, because I am short tempered and I tell anything to anyone when I'm angry. I have felt this after realising a lot of things and I'm on the voyage of changing of myself. Yes, I do not speak at any adult matters now, I just hear and keep quiet. When I was younger, till 15, I feel that I had a childishness in myself at that time. I loved to crack jokes, laugh with others, enjoy, entertain, make fun, play with water and mud, dance in the rain, jump in the pot holes, enjoy the breeze, play with friends, fight with others. You know, I also loved playing fights with my brother's and uncles like Rehan. I was so childish that I used to fight for that 1 piece of chicken leg with my uncle's and my father, I used to fight for eating the egg yolk with them and faught with my brother's for sleeping besides my father. I lost all of these because as I grew up my parents considered all my activities as a behaviour of an uncultured girl. They went on pushing it in my mind that I'm such a big girl and seeing me doing these kind of activities people will laugh at them and tell me a bad girl. So, slowly I left doing all those activities which I enjoyed. Now, I realise that all those told to me were bulshits, my activities were actually my childishness which I had to give up. After I have realised, I think I have again got that innocence back in myself. I have again started jumping in the rain, fighting with my brother's and uncle's, to fight with my uncle's for the chicken leg piece, for the egg yolk, playing games, enjoying the breeze, entertaining everyone at my house, cracking jokes with them and just started enjoying whatever I like. I have started learning football from Irfan every morning sharp at 5'o clock. I have started going out of my house at evening and play wildly with all my brother's and uncle's. I have again started going to the parks and swinging in the swings, trembling at the see-saw. I have started bathing directly from the water in the tanks. I just now don't bother about anyone, neither my parents nor the people outside. I have again started enjoying my life being a child and it's giving me a lot of happiness and satisfaction to my heart. Instead of all these, nobody around can see the child back in me.
I hope my brothers would also realise this very soon and want my mother to open her eyes and guide them thinking of their future. I also want my family member's to change themselves and the environment of the house so that the children remain children. One day they are going to miss and regret for their children, for us.
I really want to request the parent's to support their child to be a child. You don't know what happiness and satisfaction your child gets out of those acceptable mischieves they do. You might not get the chance to see that innocence in your child again, once they lose it. The youth needs the innocence so that the future does not regret with the duplicity, manipulative generation, trickery people and stone hearted selfish people.
With this I conclude that only innocence can let everyone think the good for ownselves and others as well. And, this innocence can only be found in childishness so do not let it go out of your and your child's reach.

DPS diary

Shifting to DPS, was like transferring to a different environment, for me. The environment of DPS is totally different, then beachwood.

There, I took admission in class III. At the beginning it took sometime to adjust but within a week I had been comfortable. All were very new faces to me but soon I had new friends in my class. Everyday my mom used to drop and pick me up From the school.
After the passed by term I examination we had a ptm. The teacher complained that I talk a lot in the class, I didn't realise at that time that did I really chatter. After that, I just stopped talking to everyone. I didn't speak at all except answering the teachers. In the second ptm the teacher again complained what is, I donot speak at all, and this is a very bad habit. I didn't get the solution anymore because if speaking was a crime then falling silent being the solution, was also not less than a felony. I did whatever I liked which furthermore did not give any complain.
Standard IV, V, VI did not give me such memorable times. It was full of studies, playing, dancing, painting, scoldings, etc. The most funniest thing I remember from those three session's is about one of the teachers and a girl of our class. The teacher was a bit old, smart and beautiful social science devotee. She used to make fun of that girl in our class who was always in a kind of drowsy frame of mind. Ma'ams words for her are the reason of my rememberance. She used to say, "Baby, shall I bring a pillow for you?? Will I come to you, u'll love to sleep on my lap or shall I call your mother? She will sing a lullaby for you and you will be lost in your dreams of sleep." This made the class burst out of laughter.
Moving on to standard VII, brought my interest in social networking and also gave me one of the best memories of my school life. Though, these days I have lost interest in social networking but at that time I was a facebookworm. I did not know the functions of Facebook. I did not know how to check profiles or upload a profile picture and these brought me into trouble. I could not recognise those people also whom I knew from before and I talked to everyone whosoever texted me.once, I gave my Id and password to my uncle and he started scolding me why did you talk to this person-that person and told me about them. I was very shocked to know who are they but after that I corrected myself. I learnt using Facebook and also stopped chatting with everyone except few whom I knew very well.
 I was in VIIC, where there were only 21 students including me. I still remember the names of every student. The class was an unity. In that class, I met my first crush. He was a young, handsome, moody, very casual, history fanatic. That teacher, being my crush compelled me to study in order to impress him. I just swallowed up the book and was regular to the school just to see him. I could never miss his class and even miss the chance of scampering towards him for being the first to hand over my book. I used to sit infront of his table, I mean, the teachers table so that he could underline and mark in my book only. He was very casual, sometimes he used to use his mobile phone in the class, shared chocolates with us during the class and spoke in hindi or Bengali also, which were not allowed. The most funniest thing was, he could not escape from my habit of commenting on someone's attire. He wore sandals(slippers) to school instead of formal shoes. I questioned him "why did you not wear your formal shoes today?" Yes it seemed awkward but was a serious question to me. He is a trekking enthusiast and a photography aficionado. On this, I commented, "why don't you go for renunciating?"I got the highest marks in his subject in the class. He was no more our suject teacher in class VIII. He left the school spending 2 years on teaching us. I gifted him a hand-made frame with his portrait on it on his depart. It was, a kind of painful feeling but could not help.
Standard VII gave me a group of 20 friends. Our friendship was imperishable and we all had a lot of fun having food, playing truth and dare, singing, dancing, cracking non-veg jokes and what not.
Standard VIII and XI just left me with my 4 friends - Isha, Sakshi, Prapti and Simran. Though, today we lost communication with eachother, but we were best friends at that time. All other companies were insuitable to me other than these 4. Everybody knew about our friendship and best thing was none of us were engaged with anyone else. I past my 2 sessions being with them. By that time, I had totally lost interest in social networking. I just got rid of it.
 Along with them, I got 3 more friends, not actually friends indeed. They were 3 teachers - Arpan sir, Shiladitya Sir and Anup Sir. They are my teachers but turned to be certainly friends at times. I had been good at art and craft so I had a good approach towards the art teacher's. Arpan sir taught me a lot of things. He is a very learned person with philosophical thoughts and words. We mostly had debates on any topic and in that I learnt few things from him. He is a very jolly and a funny person, you cannot resist laughing when you are with him. I really enjoyed his company similar to my friends. Shiladitya sir was mostly a friend to me busy cracking jokes. I call him Shila Sir. I have a lot of memories with him but just literally so I don't have much things to say on him but I would I like to say that it was of great fun talking to him, time passed just laughing. I remember he used to flirt talking about the near my lips saying, "look, something's there near your lips, wipe it." We three of us had a very good time during lunch breaks because we shared our food and had it like we were dying of starving and suddenly we got 3 to 4 items of food infront of us. We ran around the art room, had fights, abused eachother and giggling at the top of our voice. I started spending more time with them, because I found my friends to get involved in their own interests, all three of them went in a relationship. It made me feel awkward between the couple's or couple talks whereas Isha was not engaged at school with someone rather she was more interested in looking after their affairs. Anup sir, was the librarian of our school library. He was even a very cool person among all the teachers. We had a good correspondence as I was a regular visitor of the library. I remember when I started conversing with him I got to know that he was leaving the school. The reason was the interference of another librarian of the same library, who had complained against him to the principal about his classes, however I found no fault in him. I cannot say, what's the truth but what I heard that everything was done due to jealousy as everyone loved Anup Sir. Principal Sir did not listen to Anup Sir and shifted him to the juniors section of library. I was the one to take a step against this. And I along with my classmates wrote a letter to principal sir regarding his misjudgment on Anup Sir. But, it was of no use. He had resigned before only and did not stay back even after our so much effort for his hold back. On his farewell all the students were standing in a que in the library to meet him or to click a selfie with him. He was busy throughout the day with the students and I was waiting outside the library to meet him once before he leaves. I was waiting in the infirmary beside the library carring a gift for him. Finally, after 7 periods, he was exempted from all the students. I was still waiting and watching, he went out of the library and again gone missing. After 15mins he returned and was about to open the library door, he saw me and said, "are, Tamanna tum yaha ho! Mai tumhe pura school dhundke aa rha hu, chalo andar aao." I was relieved that finally I could meet. We went inside, sat facing eachother, and he said "sorry, Mai tumhe ekdm time nhi de paya, subah se dekhi hi kitna busy tha koi chor hi nhi Raha tha, finally Abhi time Mila, ab tum bolo." I started crying, he said "fir aaunga toh, Durgapur kabhi bhi aaunga toh tumse zarur milunga, tumne bht Kiya mere liye, kabhi nhi bhoolunga aur Mai shadi karunga na toh Sabse phle tumko bataunga." Then we had a few mins of conversation, I gave him that gift which had his portrait, he showed it to everyone in the school and then he took a picture with me and with that he left.
I was not about to continue in DPS because my father wanted me to study at Aligarh Muslim University. After VIII, I prepared for the entrance exam for a month or two. I just could not study Urdu. I went to Aligarh for the exam, and I was really very nervous about it. When I went inside the university and my parents were asked to wait outside then the feeling in me was like, I was getting separated from them forever. I could see the gate closing slowly, and I just could see my father's face. I cried my heart out there that where will I go now, I don't know anyone, what should I do now, nobody is there with me. I cried for 5 mins and then a staff over there showed me the way. I went and gave the exam and just as the exam was over, I went outside and again started crying seeing my parents. They showed me a lot of love that day and encouraged me. On the day of result, I heard that I failed for 2 marks. Out of 100 I scored 82, one of my father's friend's son said that I lost marks in Urdu. I was not upset because I really didn't want to go there. I wanted to stay with family. Fortunately, I was back to DPS.
In standard IX, except my 4 friends in the class I felt that all the students are very standard and belong to a higher society them me. I hesitated to be more like a friend to them. I thought, I would never be able to match their level of thinking or lifestyle with mine. I was always joyful but my inner state of mind always had a fear of getting insulted between them. I started being neutral to everyone, at times I used to entertain them and at times I used to work with them as a team but never had any personal interests. I went to the school very rarely due to sickness. I was suffering from oesophagitis and I was just like bedridden for 3 months. During those many years, realised that talking with a boy as a friend was also a crime in the eyes of others, including my family. I was a girl who never thought of gender and spoke to everyone. But, these made people taking me in wrong sense. There were other girls in our class, who used to just lie over the boys but never been accused for that and I who always had boys as friends only, was suffering for just talking which was nothing wrong. My father hated, me playing with the boys in the school. It was not my fault, if the girls wouldn't play and just chattered. He always knew that I am interested in playing but he was against it. I choosed not to involve with any boy or a man neither for any purpose or playing because people made my good intentions even look wrong.
Standard X left me with no one in the school. I stopped visiting to the art room, roaming around with my friends and sharing any of my personal feelings with anyone. At the break time, everybody was seen in either groups or atleast pairs but I was the only one who would roam about or stand alone. Simran moved on to another group, Isha got separated because of her rude behaviour towards me and Sakshi Prapti were mostly engaged in their love life. They came to me very oftenly but I choosed not to be Between the couple's due to an inner awkward feeling. Outside the school also I had no one to talk or be a friend with because I started feeling uncomfortable with everyone's company. Mostly standard X, went by like a single piece of wood floating in an ocean. At the beginning, I did not to go to school as I was not cured totally but after that I hated going to the school because of being a solitary student. I went under councilling by the school counselor for fifteen days. Then, slowly again I started going to the school from the middle of the session being least bothered about anybody else. I did not talk to anyone I just went to the school for myself. My academics performance went better in standard XI but again it degraded in standard X. What I got from X was the title of "Perseverant" by my class teacher. She said that "Tamanna, is an example of perseverance, she goes on doing her work till she completes it and gets satisfied. She never gets distracted between herself and her steps of moving forward towards her goal."
The common thing of the sessions from standard VII to standard X was that, that during the projects I was the most demanding student of the school. As I'm good at art and craft, all the teachers wanted to take me in their group, be it any subject or class. All the students were alloted different subjects for the project but I was the one who had been in every subjects project. It became a bit harrassment for me but I enjoyed it.
This way my journey till standard X. Though, I faced many ups and down but it was experiences going through varieties of situation's in school life. Well, you can figure it out that how I moved on from having lots of friends to be a solitary student or a girl.